So this is what it feels like to fall. To leap from a cliff not knowing how deep the water will be. This is what it feels like to drop.

I did not want this.  I was happy touting faith and letting go as the only sane approaches to living in this world; I did not desire reasons to use them myself.  And now, it seems, I have no choice.  There is no going back this time.  The rubber has officially met the road.

And though I say I did not want this, at some level I was willing to…

This body you see is not me.   I live without and within.  I am bigger than these breasts, these toes, these eyes.  And I am not broken.

When I am able to just be, I shine with effortless ease.  When I am in fear, I shut down, stutter and retreat.  I become like a roller coaster: up and then down, up and then down.  But I am not broken.

These things I say are not me.  They are a snapshot of this place and time.  I am larger than these words, these shrugs and these…

I asked Fear and Fear said no, so I asked Love instead.  And it’s not that Love always says yes, but that Fear always says no.  So I won’t ask Fear anymore.

I’m breaking through to the other side.  I’m opening up to a new way of thinking, of being.  No longer will I be held back by that which wants to hide me.  Instead I choose my light, my power, my truth.

And there’s no big ceremony for this.  There’s no red carpet, no trophy, no prize.  This is merely a decision I make.  And…