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My name used to be Fear.
I walked it, wore it, smelled of it, took it on as myself. I moved through life with hands held up as fists, swinging in the dark with teeth clenched and eyes narrowed. It was my way through. It was how I made it through.
But I didn’t move. I stood still, paralyzed with shame. I was ashamed of what I did, what I was, the words I spoke. And that instant was frozen in time, lived over and over again. It was all I knew…the guilt, the pain. It was all I…Continue
Added by Danielle Boonstra on April 30, 2013 at 2:53pm — No Comments
When you hear yourself say:
"There will be no peace until this (problem) is resolved…"
You will know that the purpose of the problem is to harbor fear and guilt, and to maintain an identity of a separate self.
And when you can be peaceful and keep Peace in spite of the problem, the problem will be gone because it is not effective, it no longer accomplishes the purpose it was made to serve. And nothing survives its purpose.
To love is to let be. It is an unending extension of truth that once felt is never forgotten. It is home. I see it in you and you see it in me.
And when I feel scared or threatened it is because I am holding on to something else. Something that may have all the looks of love but is another thing entirely. It is conditional, but that’s not even true. In truth, it is nothing.
And there is nothing to be afraid of. What I think I see before me is a sea of chaos and fruitless quests…Continue
The noise in my head is simply the rumblings of what I imagine other people think of me. And only I can shut that out. Only I can take that long, lost breath and choose again.
Again. It’s getting better. The conversations that used to tighten me up and set my mind a-racing are being met with calm, open ears and soft, gentle words. I can listen and love you at the same time. You’re me. I can see that.
You are me and we are in this together. And together we cannot fail. It’s not…Continue
I think this is how it will go for me: love people as they are and then love everything as it is. This is what my Teacher seems to be teaching.
And it’s not easy when you’re used to control. It’s always been a false kind of control, of course, but then it’s all I’ve ever known. Chaos is the enemy, tantrums and action the only solutions. Until now.
I have met with Something much more powerful. It uses peace and compassion as its only weapons. I laughed at first and It only…Continue
Heaven knows I have done it. Since a young age I have used food as a weapon. I have hurt myself on purpose with it.
For years it was a matter of handling my feelings (mostly guilt) by eating and then purging. It was a behaviour I could throw myself into, get lost in and block out everything else. It was a kind of mania. I was most certainly insane. And I was violent, if only towards myself.
And then later came a very restrictive food plan. To a person with a healthy…Continue
Added by Danielle Boonstra on January 11, 2013 at 2:12pm — No Comments
Proof of Heaven—do not let the title fool you that this is a Christian tome about streets of gold and pearly gates. Eben Alexander, M.D., a well-respected neurosurgeon, saw many medical cases in which patients claimed to have seen deceased loved ones or heaven. He dismissed them all as chemical processes in the brain—until he had his own near-death experience while in a seven-day coma. Alexander states that while in his coma his neo-cortex was non-functional. The only thing keeping…Continue
The calm is coming back…
I had been tense, on edge, impatient. I had peace too long I think. And when you have peace too long, it can be tempting to let the darkness creep back. Just to see. Just to see if it’s still there.
Well, it is as long as I believe that it is. And apparently I still believe that it is.
But I feel the clouds parting and the calm coming back. And the trick will be to forgive myself for forgetting again. I forgot myself. For a moment there, I lost…Continue
Just for today I will commit to FUN…to laughter, to turning my face to the sun.
Just for today I will let go…I will breathe deeply, allow and flow.
Just for today I will see love in all…in the grace of a moment, the rise and the fall.
Just for today I will forgive…I will be a witness, I will live and let live.
And I will bring with me nothing but a willingness to see…surrender all I think that I need.
Just for today.
Added by Danielle Boonstra on October 17, 2012 at 12:44pm — No Comments
For original source click here.
On a recent ACIM study group call, we were discussing the idea…Continue
In this Interview Susan and I discuss Fear, Forgiveness, Happiness and a lot of of other things! Listen to the Interview HERE and right-click on the link and select "Save As" to Download the audio.
A Transcript of our interview will be posted ASAP :)…Continue
Added by Danielle Boonstra on September 11, 2012 at 10:30am — No Comments
Each time I come here to write about food and body stuff, I am so tempted to tell you all that I’ve found it. I’ve found the cure-all, the epiphany, the line in the sand. Damnit. I haven’t.
And then I start to think: am I really still writing about this? Am I really still living this self-imposed hell of criticizing every goddamned piece of food I put in my mouth? Am I really still adding up my daily physical activity and assigning some bogus yea or nay as far as whether it was…Continue
Let’s have a little heart-to-heart, you and I. Let’s talk about who you are…who you really are.
You hear it over and over: that you are love, pure and simple. But do you believe it? Do you believe that you are one with the One? Can you embrace the idea that you are perfect, unsullied Spirit?
It’s not easy. There is a dark side that bubbles up like a cauldron of shame every now and then. It is relentless in its threats to overflow and burn all in its wake. It is insistent on…Continue
Added by Danielle Boonstra on August 28, 2012 at 11:26am — No Comments
I’m rolling through the rough stuff, carrying habits in my hair. Which one will I reach for? The food? The tantrum? The runaway?
Maybe this time, the Light.
I don’t want to to look, have trouble letting go. And patiently the Light just waits. It knows me, sees me, pulls me close and whispers: “You’re ok.” I need that. I need to be told I’m ok. Because I don’t always feel it.
But this time, the Light.
And I can remember my safety. I don’t have to look for…Continue
If I could tell him one thing, it would be this: be who you are, now. I can tell him, but not without that lingering notion that I don’t really mean it. I can tell him, but not yet without the tears in my eyes.
If I could say one last thing, it would be this: love you who are, now…right now. I can tell him, but he’s not ready. I can say the words, but he thinks me biased, blinded by preciousness.
I tell you this: I have seen unconditional love. I have held it tightly only…Continue
A couple of weeks ago, I felt guilded to begin a newsletter called, The Unlearning Classroom. It's free, and if you would like to subscribe, just visit www.amytorresacim.com and sign up there. Here's a link to a sample of The Unlearning Classroom. Enjoy!
Added by Amy Torres on July 31, 2012 at 9:39am — No Comments
This is a question one of my readers asked.
Hi again. Acim and people like Gary Renard keep saying we chose our script before we dreamed all of this and I was wondering why any dream figure would choose a hard, pain and suffering filled life instead of all of us dreaming this as perfect people with perfect situations. Thank you.
Good question. Since we are perfectly whole as Spirit, why, indeed would we dream up an illusion filled with pain and…Continue
Added by Corinne Zupko on July 5, 2012 at 1:00pm — No Comments