Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Cindy L. on February 4, 2012 at 10:53pm

The goal of the course, in my view, is to remember who we are -- and who we are is Love...Todays' Lesson is: I am a part of God's Mind, I am very Holy.....much of what we do in this world is ego based and illusory...although if we harm others we will need to take responsibility for that....however, there is a difference between knowing we are responsible and feeling guilt...owning what we have done, owning our errors we can give them to Holy Spirit and ask for correction of those errors...Guilt, the course teaches, I believe, is yet another ego trick to keep us from taking full responsibility for our errors...for when we do that when we see our errors and bring them into the light we are given the opportunity to forgive ourselves.  When we have forgiven ourselves we are better able to forgive the world.  Hope that helps :)

Namaste brother :)

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Timothy Beaser on February 4, 2012 at 11:02pm

Thank you... that is a good start for me.

Then let me ask you to expand...

The situation around which I am guilty, involves love too. I have fallen deeply in love with a woman who is not my wife. It is so confusing to simultaneously feel love for someone, and for that love to be the undoing of another relationship that was loving.

There are so many signs from God that this person should have been my partner. I can not reconcile how this is a miracle, since if I pursue it, it will bring pain for someone who is innocent of any wrongdoing.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Lorri Coburn on February 5, 2012 at 9:42pm

Hi, Timothy, Keep giving this situation to the Holy Spirit for Its vision. You are not guilty. It is never wrong to love. Truly, only the ego thinks that to love one person takes away from another. Love is what we are. All relationships begin as special relationships, but the Holy Spirit does not take the special relationship away, but transforms it into a holy relationship. You can either stay with your wife or leave her and still have a holy relationship with her. The holy relationship is in the mind, and it's when we see ourselves and our brother as one. Minds join, bodies do not. 

In the manual, # 3, it says, Those who are to meet will meet, because together they have the potential for a holy relationship. As you give this new relationship to the Holy Spirit for Its purpose rather than the ego's purpose, it will all unfold as it should. The Holy Spirit within you, which is your Higher Self, led you to this new person for important forgiveness lessons. When we ask, "Show me what I need to see," we are given insight. 

I was married when I met my current partner. The marriage was waning and I felt the Holy Spirit say, "You're supposed to be with Rod." I answered, "Rod?! He's too old and he's not my type." I went through turmoil, wondering if I could trust that Voice. Many times the ego voice is disguised as the Holy Spirit's.

Now I've been with Rod almost 12 years and it was the best move I ever made. We have a holy relationship and it's wonderful. But we fought our first six years as we worked out ego specialness. 

Love yourself. You were meant to fall in love with this new person. Only in the silence and peacefulness can you be told what that means, whether it's to actually be with this person or to learn something else. You will be guided. The Holy Spirit's Voice is Peace. When I first tried to leave my marriage my sister argued with me. Later on she stopped arguing and I asked her why. "Because you sound sure, now." You will know. Blessings, Lorri

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Warren Cotton on February 5, 2012 at 8:11am

The Course says that guilt involves only bodies, and bodies, along with the rest of the world, are an illusion. There should be no guilt for what happens in an illusion, just as there should be no guilt for what you do in your dreams.

You say that you have "fallen deeply in love" with a woman who is not your wife. The Course terms this a "special relationship." The ego tells us that we are incomplete, and we need to go outside ourselves to find completion. This is what the ego mind calls love -- someone or something whom we think will complete us. No doubt you felt you were "deeply in love" with your wife when you married her. Now you've decided that she hasn't completed you as you had hoped, and you've found someone else to fill that role.

What you need to realize is that you are in truth complete in yourself, and you need to go inside to find that completion, not outside. Nothing outside can complete you, because what is outside is all illusion. You can't be completed by an illusion. And everything outside yourself is an illusion.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Timothy Beaser on February 5, 2012 at 1:35pm

Warren,

This is thought-provoking... thank you.

Truth be told, I did not feel deeply in love with my wife when I married her...I felt "compatible enough," and it is something she very much wanted, so I married her to help fulfill her dreams.

This is part of what makes me so distraught. I now feel so incomplete, to use your point. And it is an incompleteness I didn't know until I met this other woman.

I will read about "special relationships," but further insight from all of you is greatly appreciated.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Warren Cotton on February 5, 2012 at 5:12pm

Timothy, if you want to read about special relationships, I suggest T-15.V, and then T-16.V-VII.

If you think you feel guilty now, what would you feel if you break up with your wife to go with this other woman -- especially if that new relationship didn't work out? And the guilt would put a burden on the new relationship. I would be willing to bet that you'd feel your new love owes you because you had broken up with your wife for her. It would be subtle, but it would be there.

You say, "There are so many signs from God that this person should have been my partner." Think again. God doesn't send signs about things like that. God doesn't even know about the world, because God doesn't know about illusions. The signs are there because you want them. Belief is a powerful thing.

Peace and love,
Warren

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Brad Windhauser on February 5, 2012 at 11:15am

Guilt is assigned to one that has done harm. "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God." You can do no harm to anything real even if you try to. Guilt then is the ego saying you have defeated God.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Cindy L. on February 5, 2012 at 1:02pm

Good Morning,

You wrote "There are so many signs from God that this person should have been my partner. I can not reconcile how this is a miracle, since if I pursue it, it will bring pain for someone who is innocent of any wrongdoing."

The "miracle" is the mind shift.  When we can begin to see beyond the ego illusions and see what is real, The Love ONLY then we can begin to change our minds.  Read the parts about 'special relationships"... you are in the grip of the ego's forces which are attempting to keep you from the Truth of God.  Do not underestimate the power of the ego.  The closer we grow to Truth the more the ego is threatened and, oftentimes, the grip of the ego gets stronger as we are getting closer to God.  But there is nothing to fear...because in the end the ego cannot defeat the Truth...because it is no more than an illusion.

Wishing you a blessed day :)

Cindy

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Wende Wylie on February 5, 2012 at 2:38pm

Marriage, vows, relationship commitments, promises to ourselves and others ... all these are ego conditions. They are designed to make us keep our word or suffer guilt. But the promise is made to the ego, by the ego; magic. Read Lesson 76: I am under no laws but God's. Read it several times.

"There are no laws but God's. Dismiss all foolish magical beliefs today, and hold your mind in silent readiness to hear the Voice that speaks the truth to you. You will be listening to One Who says there is no loss under the laws of God. Payment is neither given nor received. Exchange cannot be made; there are no substitutes; and nothing is replaced by something else. God's laws forever give and never take."

The ego will interpret this as meaning it's okay to break up your relationships or cause another to suffer because you don't have to follow the world's laws. The Holy Spirit will tell you: the love you think you will give or get from someone else in order to feel whole is imprisonment for all of you. The idea that you love this one and not that one is insanity. Only God is real, and only the love you feel within is real. You can only extend that love equally among all you see. You cannot project or limit God's love to one specific person.

Have fun with that. It's not meant to be painful. You can look at this person you love and feel love for them, and acknowledge that love you feel could be coming through you from God. And then look at the next person feeling the same love come through you. Remember, the ego LOVES your pain, and the pain of the ego's heart-break from love is particularly tasty to it. 

Here's a hug. Ω

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Timothy Beaser on February 5, 2012 at 6:21pm

Wende,

That is truly food for thought. Thank you.

• ▶ Reply